How Clearing Clutter Can Lead to More Calm... and Maybe Better Orgasms

From the Podcast to the Page™
This post is inspired by Episode 27 of The Joy! A.A.C.T.™—where real conversations meet real healing.

Real talk: Sometimes, the mess in your space is less about piles of laundry and more about piles of emotional residue. After a divorce or breakup, your home can feel like a museum dedicated to a life you didn’t exactly sign up for—and that is not the vibe you were going for. That’s why I sat down with Colette Roy, trauma-informed organizer and Certified Erotic Blueprint Coach. Yes, you read that right. Together, we unpacked how decluttering your space can help you reclaim your peace, your confidence, and maybe even your pelvic floor.

Here's a question for you. How many hours did you spend with your ex in that bedroom? Now you’re climbing into the same bed, on the same mattress, with the same sheets that have soaked up every fight, every tear, and every awkward silent night.  And if you were luck, possibly some amazing sexual experiences. Colette’s advice? Start with the bedroom. Move the bed. Paint the walls. Just don’t try fire-engine red unless you want to wake up feeling like you’ve checked into a hotel in hell—ask me how I know. Get rid of the argument chair. This isn’t just about aesthetics. It’s about shifting the energy so your nervous system can finally breath easier.

The Junk Drawer of Doom

We all have one: that nightstand drawer filled with old receipts, hair ties multiplying like rabbits, and those random plastic price-tag connectors that somehow never make it to the trash. Start there. Dump it out. Keep only what you need and use. Toss the rest. Add some inexpensive organizers and you’ve created a small corner of calm in the chaos. And yes, you’ll feel different every time you open that drawer.

Buttons, Blankets, and the Ex’s Leftovers

Pro tip: If your house still has furniture, dishes, or random knick-knacks that scream “shared memories I’d rather forget,” it’s time to let them go. And if you can’t, because your ex hasn’t moved their stuff yet, cover it or hide it.  The chair? Throw a decorative blanket over it. Newsflash: Aside of a few exceptional situations, if they really wanted it, they would have taken it when they left.

Your Sexual Self Lives Here Too

Here’s where it gets fun and a little risqué. Your home should feel like your sanctuary, and that includes your sensuality. You’re still a whole, sensual, sexual being, even if you’re not sharing your bed—hopefully your brand new bed—with someone else right now. Colette says this is the perfect time to explore what she calls, your Erotic Blueprint. You get to discover what you like, and maybe add a new toy or two to that freshly decluttered drawer. And yes, orgasms are good for you. They tone your pelvic floor. Goodbye to those, “oops, I laughed too hard” moments. Orgasms release tension like nothing else. Look at it as part of your self-care program.

Clutter and Self-Trust Go Hand in Hand

Here’s the thing: Sometimes clutter lingers because you don’t trust yourself to deal with it. You’ve promised to clean before and didn’t, so now you avoid even trying. But clearing clutter is less about perfection and more about practice. Start small, build trust with yourself, and let your home reflect the person you’re becoming—not the one who had to compromise your space for someone else.

The Bottom Line

Clearing clutter after divorce isn’t just about throwing stuff out—it’s about reclaiming your space, your energy, and your joy. Start with one drawer, one wall, one sexy new bedsheet set. Give yourself permission to play, experiment, and make “mistakes” Trust me, you can always paint over a bad color choice. When your space feels like you, you start feeling more like yourself. And that’s where healing—and a whole lot of joy—truly begins.