Marriage Money Myths That Keep Women Stuck

The Marriage Money Myths That Keep Women Stuck Before and After Divorce

When most women think about divorce, the first fear that rises is financial: “Can I make it on my own?” It’s one of the biggest reasons many stay in marriages that no longer work. The fear of not having “enough” — enough income, enough savings, enough know-how — keeps women locked in situations they know aren’t right for them.

Here’s the truth: marriage is a legal and financial partnership, but the way assets are divided isn’t always straightforward. Laws vary by state, and agreements like prenups or postnups can change the picture entirely.

What matters most is this: it’s not just about who earned more or who paid which bills. It’s about knowing what your partnership means for you financially. Too often, women assume, “He earned it, so it must be his.” That myth alone keeps women stuck in unhappy marriages — and leaves them confounded and unprepared if the marriage ends.

We also discuss why it’s a good idea to find a financial expert sooner rather than later in your divorce process — and even before it begins. In fact, in my podcast conversation with financial expert Mary Julia Cordero, we unpack exactly how money myths keep women stuck and what to do about them: The Marriage Money Myth That’s Costing Women More Than Dollars.

The Hidden Myths That Cost Women More Than Money

Mary Julia and I named a few common traps we’ve both seen over and over:

• “He earned it, so it’s his.”
  This belief leaves women undervaluing what they bring to the marriage. And, as Mary Julia pointed out, many later discover it was never about their intangible contributions anyway — the law still considers marriage a legal and financial partnership.

• “I’m not good with numbers.”
  Many accomplished women fall into this trap — sometimes out of blind trust, sometimes because it’s what they saw modeled at home, and sometimes because they’ve convinced themselves they “just aren’t good with money.” The truth? They’re far more capable than they believe.

• “Talking about money makes me look like a gold digger.”
  Even when finances are at the forefront of their mind, some women hesitate to raise the subject. They worry that asking questions or setting financial boundaries will make them appear greedy. In reality, acknowledging the financial side of divorce is one of the most responsible, empowering steps they can take.

Each of these myths chips away at confidence. And when you don’t have confidence, you’re more likely to walk away from a marriage feeling defeated instead of empowered.

Why This Matters Now

Divorce isn’t just an emotional transition. It’s also a practical one — and the decisions you make in the middle of it can affect the rest of your life. Settlement agreements, budgets, assets, debt… they all carry weight. And when you don’t know what you don’t know, it’s easy to get blindsided.

This is why accountability matters so much. Accountability isn’t about blame; it’s about ownership. It’s about saying, “This is my life, and I’m going to understand what’s happening so I can make the best choices possible.”

And here’s the good news: when women do take accountability, the outcome is dramatically different. Instead of saying, “I got taken advantage of,” they say, “I know what happened, I know what I chose, and I’m moving forward on my terms.” That shift in tone sets the stage for the next chapter — one built on clarity, strength, and yes, joy.

Because divorce is not a destination. It’s the doorway to your next chapter — and how you step through depends on the ownership you’re willing to claim today.